Today has been one different kind of day. I returned a phone call from Friday to find out that EAA is wanting to honor Ben by putting his name on the Memorial Wall at Oshkosh during this year's convention/fly-in the last week of July. We spent many years dedicating the last week of July/first of August at the fly-in. I went to Oshkosh after the BFA National championships as long as I was active in ballooning. we camped in the huge camp ground using a tent, pop-up camper, motor home and camping trailer over the years. The kids and their kids came different years.A lot of memories center on that week. It had been an idea in Ben's mind for a long time that he would like to have his name on the wall at Oshkosh. In fact, that wish came sooner than the desire to be interred in the church memorial garden. That phone call alone would set memories firing in my mind for the rest of the day, but there were other things to do, too.
I bought a car yesterday. It is a candy apple red Escape. I don't know how the manufacturer labels the color but my favorite car was my candy apple red country squire station wagon when the kids were little and my sentimental heart melted when I saw this one. My old Escape, while a true favorite, had high mileage, was out of warranty and therefore had nowhere to go but down. I thought a 2011 would be good to get since it would be a year older than a 2012 when it was first taxed, therefore a little less money to the taxmen. All changes seem to be hard and make me sentimental. I get there again for the times we had enjoyed together in the old Escape. so I had the old pull in the opposite directions exercise to repeat once again. It is the hesitation waltz danced once more around the floor. In fact, it literally was this morning when I took Emma to band camp. The radio was on the classical station and a classic viennese waltz was playing and I found my mental image of Ben and me dancing at one of the Liberty Symphony waltz nights twirling in my head. We so enjoyed those special evenings! And we were good dancers together. Somewhere I even have a trophy to prove it.
The good thing is that I can once more risk listening to classical and classic pop music again. Until this morning I had avoided them quite thoroughly because of too many memories that I couldn't bear to think about. This time I welcomed them. I think that's progress. I don't know if I'm ready to hear "My Finny Valentine" as yet - I sang that to Ben every Valentine's Day for 49 years, but, nonetheless progress.
I also revisited the MO state department of vital records to ask where the certified copies of the death certificate were. You may recall a post about them in April. Still waiting. I sat on hold while the recording counted down that I was the 6th caller in line, 3rd, 2nd, 1st. . . . And finally I was talking to a human and I strongly and firmly let go my ire (no, I didn't yell, but I was FIRM). I felt it was an insult to all families waiting for months to get the records without which there was little progress they could make regarding the business of death. I got a live one! She found the records were ready and she would get them off tomorrow! She promised! I hope I can believe her! She sounded nice and didn't insult me or Ben's memory so that alone made things better.
I called back a woman who knew Ben from the Conservation Commission and who wanted to once again pick mulberries off our tree. She answered "Hello, Ben!". That immediately told me I needed to tell her something she didn't know. I think I will probably spend the rest of my life telling people that sad news. That, too, makes me misty eyed, which it probably will for the rest of my life.
I found out the poisin ivy poisin spray did kill the rose I gave Ben for his birthday a long time ago when I first started on my rosarian antics ( it was my first English rose) somehow that seems oddly appropriate - both in the same year.
I went on to work on the roses, helped Kelsey plant three more in the garden by the shop and then lugged branches off the sidewalk until I melted in the heat and humidity.
as I said at the start-quite a day./
No comments:
Post a Comment