Lessons from of All Things - the Mayflower!

The last post helped my day today so much that I decided to go with it, not think of it as a fluke and write some more. I also think of much of this recent series of realizations within a nautical metaphor. So with apologies to my my truly nautical daughter and son-in-law, here goes.
One activity that I have been consistently able to do these past months has been reading. I have read a lot of fiction and punctuated that with historical books on a range of subjects, mostly American or English histories. I am at the time reading Nathaniel Philbrook's Mayflower. He discusses the Pilgrims' harrowing trip across the late fall Atlantic in the frail ship. And he includes  on page 31 the  strategy of " lying ahull" which Master Jones employed during some of this journey. He states that"to lie ahull--to furl the sails and without  a stitch of canvas set, secure the helm to leeward and surrender his 180-ton ship to the elements." He also notes that a reproduction ship had to face similar gale forces and attempt the same strategy.  The question was "would she lie that way, more or less quietly, with the windage of the high poop keeping her shoulder to the sea? Or would she just wallow hopelessly in the great troughs threatening to roll her masts out? We didn't know. No one had tried the maneuver in a ship like that for maybe two centuries."
"As soon as the ship's bow swung into the wind, a remarkable change came over the Mayflower II. Even though she was under bare poles in a howling gale, her slablike topsides functioned as a kind of wooden storm sail magically steadying the ship's motion. Almost perfectly balanced the Mayflower II sat like a contented duck amid the uproar of the storm. After being pounded unmercifully by the waves, the ship was finally at peace."
I don't intend the harp upon the analogy and I draw the lines this side of admitting to a "slablike topside" But having wallowed  in the depths of my own troughs of late I found myself able to find a balance and within reasonable limits be at peace beyond that which I had known for some time. I think it came at least in part from taking a risk to face into the gale and hold a steady course for a sustained period of time, which wasn't all that long, but still beyond that which I had done these past weeks. The result was that I had my first good whole day in a long while, I was able to be productive and to think about some plans I need to make. The sorrow is still my companion but I feel a balance I have not known and that lifts my heart. We don't always anticipate the lessons learned from history.

More Than a Month. . . .

It's been more than a month since my last post. I wish that meant that things are better. They probably were better when I was posting more regularly, but I have too much on my mind to write. Feeling that today I decided to get back at it.
Much of my excuse for not writing centered on my unfamiliarity with my new computer. It is easier keyboarding with it (after all how much fun can a 10 inch PC be?) but I have to do some things differently with the mac and this is one less thing to think about doing differently.
 I also grew weary of my referring to tears so much, but like it or not they are still my nearest companion. I don't cry that easily in front of others, nor discuss it openly but I do find tears slipping up on me still on a daily basis. I'll have a random thought or come across something provoking a memory and there they are. I don't think of myself as gloomy but there are just so many memories. . . . It's lonely here especially now that school and soccer practice and dance have started and I don't see the kids so much.  I really should do more but I have found that my right leg is better when I am off it more. I have spent more time knitting and have finished projects to my recent credit. That means, in addition to sitting in my chair, my focus is  improving. I had been unable to knit with purpose for the past several months. Wow! just writing these sentences have lifted my feelings! I guess writing - and knitting - do help. I have just completed a project and I must get busy to start a new one. I am back at my housecleaning efforts, too. Benj will be up here before I know it to do the floors.  I also need to stuff more tubs of yard waste - nice term for limbs from the old trees which have succumbed to the summer storms this past month. There isn't any produce to carry in from the garden. The heat wave took care of that. But it seems that most of the roses are coming back now that the weather is kinder and gentler. I did plant mums in the window boxes to replace the heat-killed petunias et al.
With a promise to myself to get back to this project more regularly - my determination to find some resolution in my writing is probably what makes it helpful - I will try sleep again. Good night.